A Recipe for Mild Disaster
by FloatingFox
Summary: Mix in an energetic redhead with a knack for getting into risky situations and a blonde prodigy with a tsundere streak, and you've got yourself an oddly interesting combination to deal with! A small collection of mostly unrelated Souma/Erina oneshots.
1. Mornings With You

"W-What the-?" When Nakiri Erina woke up, groggy and sore all over, she expected to reach over to her nightstand and grab her alarm clock for the time. Instead, her hand smacked onto something soft..., wait, _squishy_?

Her eyelids flipped open, and the next thing she knew, she let out the most undignified shriek. She could care less about disrupting her intruder's sleep. Erina looked on with horror as a sickeningly-familiar shock of red hair catapulted off the pillows.

"What's going on?! Is the kitchen on fire?!"

"Yukihira?!" she sputtered. Souma blinked sleepily and turned to her.

"Souma to you," He yawned, "Or it should be, anyways, considering the fact that you're a Yukihira too." The realization still hit as hard as the first time around. And that wasn't even the worst part, because as soon as he got out of bed, the sheets slipped off of his body and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. She wanted to look away so badly, but the shock left her following his path into the bathroom. When the door shut, she snapped out of her trance and warily took a peek under her side of the covers.

She held back the horrified shriek, and continued to do so until Souma re-entered the bedroom. Now covered in a bathrobe, he made his way back to the bed. He paused before sitting down, noticing how off-edge she looked.

"You look like you're about to have a seizure. Are you sure you're okay, Erina?" he asked. This only worked to unsettle her even more, especially with the way he tilted his head like some sort of alleyway cat.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'll be fine. What time is it?"

"Almost noon. I'll go cook us up some brunch. Any requests?"

"Surprise me." she grumbled. He smirked and sauntered out the room without a word. Knowing her, it would take a while for her to adjust to their new living arrangements as husband and wife. He didn't blame her though. After all, it was no less surprising for him once fate had begun churning its gears. The day he realized he felt something other than deep rivalry for Nakiri Erina marked the start for a whirlwind of events that eventually landed them here.

Needless to say, Erina resisted with all her might, but just like with any other challenge Souma did not give up. He taught her that his determination that shone through while cooking matched his stubbornness and persistence. Such a ruthless combination was enough to finally crack through the God Tongue's own barriers.

Of course, they never would have come to be if she was against it. To those who knew her during their Totsuki years, she was as fierce as they came; always stern and iron-fisted when it came to dealing with food and people. However, Souma was a prime example of how much people could be changed. No one really expected him of all people to get so close to her, but he was already unpredictable to begin with. When news broke out that they were together during their third year at Totsuki, nearly everyone went ballistic.

She giggled at the memory, still having a clear picture in mind of the looks on everybody's faces. If not for the prestigious and gracious demeanor she carried herself with during those days, she surely would have burst out laughing in front of everyone. Luckily for her, Souma was able to laugh for the both of them that day.

Erina was still boggled about this new development. The phrase ' _Will you take Souma as your husband?_ ' still echoed clearly in her mind.

Erina's husband. And she was Souma's wife. It all felt so surreal, but deep down inside, she would gladly admit to the fact. Any prodding from Souma to say it out loud was practically useless anyways. The shiny band on her finger was proof enough of their commitment, and would be enough to tell of her romantic admission.

Finally deciding it was time to stop dwelling in the past, she stretched and made her way to the bathroom for a refreshing shower. It wouldn't do to start the day feeling gritty and unkempt.

As soon as Erina dried her hair and changed into something comfortable, a familiar and nostalgic scent wafted into her nose. The smell made her mouth water and her mind travel to a heavenly food-induced paradise. ' _I expected nothing less from Souma. Time to see what he made this time._ '

The scent became stronger and even more appetizing as she could finally pick out the smell of freshly cooked eggs and rice. Her stomach grumbled loud enough to alert Souma of her presence in the kitchen.

His eyes didn't leave the stove as he waited for their meal to finish. "I was wondering when you would finally get up. I'm almost done here!"

Erina grabbed a seat nearby while she waited. "It smells delicious. What is it?"

"Oh, trust me; you're gonna love this!" She heard him fiddle around in the kitchen some more before seeing him appear right in front of her with a tray. The grin she became all too familiar with widened in anticipation as he set their portions down on the tabletop.

She gasped as her eyes recognized the contents in the bowl. A soft smile made its way on her face, "You want to know something, Souma? I can't believe you sometimes." In front of her was the very same Transforming Furikake Gohan that he had made for her the first time they met.

"It sure brings back memories." Souma said, taking a seat. "And in the end, it was worth it. I was able to fulfill my promise to you and got out of Totsuki unscathed."

"Don't let your ego get to your head. I don't think 'unscathed' is the right word," She let him see the smug smirk on her face. "In fact, I seem to remember all those close calls you made during our first year. Shall I talk about your shokugeki against Koujiro-senpai during the training camp?"

"Hmph. Bring up whatever you want- at least I managed to make you admit that my food is delicious." He grabbed his chopsticks in one hand and the bowl in the other. "Now then, happy to serve! Let's eat!"

She dug in with a hidden enthusiasm, shaking her head at him. "And even after all these years, you're still the same old Souma."

"And you're still the same Erina from back then." he retorted. "But I'm sure I can deal with you for another while longer." The boyish grin and eager glint in his eyes made her blush, though she hid it behind the Gohan.

"I'll find a way to tolerate you for some more years. Just don't let your skills in the kitchen falter while you're at it." she shot back.

Souma couldn't help but chuckle. "See? You do like my food!"

"Keep it up, Souma. I'll just have to make you prove yourself to me all over again."

END

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 **A/N: That's a wrap for this oneshot! I hope you enjoyed the first of(hopefully) many more snippets to come. In case you didn't get the scenario for this story, it was something along the lines of "Newlyweds enjoying their new found morning routine." Sort of.**

 **Reviews and suggestions to make this better are always welcome. I already have the next oneshot planned out, but I suppose I can start taking in requests/ideas for future stories. For the most part, they'll stay at about 1k words, but that isn't to say that all of them will be like that. Anyways, hope you review, and see you on the next one!**


	2. So Maybe Second Place Isn't Always Bad

Rumor had it that the infamous Asura of the 69th Generation had been sighted on school grounds not so long ago. Some had said he was visiting the Polar Star Dormitory, too. This came as a surprise to Erina, as she could have sworn that she saw the man on her way back to the academy. Now fully sure that she wasn't just seeing things, she made it her mission to try and seek him out once more. Her first step was to snoop around Polar Star's territory and try to find the information she needed.

"Hey, hey, don't you think it's weird that your first crush is on some thirty-something guy?"

"Alice?!" Erina turned quickly, trying to hide her treasured photograph. However, Alice had already taken a good eyeful of it. The damage had been done, as Erina could sense in the way her cousin leered at her.

"Don't mind me! I think it's nice that we're finally seeing some emotion in that cold heart of yours. At least I can rest easy knowing that you can love."

"Be quiet, you." The blonde muttered. She took one last look at the photo before tucking it away in her pocket. "And I do _not_ have a crush on him!"

"Oh? I beg to differ," Alice drawled. "You can only look at a picture so much before someone can call you out on being obsessive. I'm surprised you haven't stared a hole through it yet..."

"Tch. What do you know? Besides, the only reason I'm seeking him out is because I want to taste his food one last time. You would understand if you were there to taste it." The look in Erina's eyes was wistful, and it was clear that she seriously longed for that one morsel of culinary perfection. Alice could only sigh at her cousin's near-impossible goal, but stopped herself from saying anything more on the matter.

"Do what you will. Although, you could always settle for Asura Jr." The silver haired girl shrugged. The mere mention of her redhead rival was enough to pop Erina out of her trance, and much to Alice's amusement, it also flipped a switch in her. The dreamy, far-off look in those amethyst eyes melted into one of pure, aggressive ire.

"If you even believe that I can be satisfied by that second-rate chef, then you are sorely mistaken!" she huffed, crossing her arms. "His skills aren't even near Asura's."

Once again, Alice was relegated to sigh at her cousin's outburst. "There you go again with that nonsense. I don't see why you can't even give him the time of the day. Even I will admit that he is a quite formidable opponent. Nice guy, too. He sure makes things interesting around here."

"Disruptive, more like it." Erina interjected.

"See what I mean? It's a wonder how you haven't been able to scare him off yet." Alice continued. "Hmph. I worry about you sometimes."

Erina eyed her strangely. "And why is that?" She watched as Alice feigned checking her nails.

"At this rate, you won't be able to find a proper boyfriend by graduation."

"Idiot!" The blonde stammered, her face noticeably warm. "I told you so many times already; I don't have the time to indulge in stupid flings!"

"Flings? I never knew you were that type of person, Erina." Her cousin mocked. The God Tongue pinched the bridge of her nose, sending a nasty glower to the other girl. "Okay, okay! I'll stop. But seriously, it wouldn't hurt to be nice to that Yukihira wild-child at least once."

"Just leave already. I have things to do." Groaned the blonde. Once she was by herself again, she let out a heavy breath and closed her eyes, planning out her visit to the Polar Stars.

* * *

"Milady, are you sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"Hisako, it's only a quick outing. I'll be fine." Erina assured her closest friend for the third time that day. "Besides, it shouldn't keep me too long from completing today's other duties."

"If you're sure... Oh, we're here."

The seemingly deserted building loomed over them, but the two teens knew that this was the place that housed some of Totsuki's up and coming competitors. Not letting this phase her, Erina proceeded to get out of the car. She looked back at her loyal secretary one last time.

"I won't be long. Call if you need anything."

Hisako nodded. "Will do, Erina-sama." The car drove off and she was left standing alone on the road. Mentally preparing herself, she walked through the front doors. She was greeted by Fumio, who was idly sweeping the foyer. The older woman looked up with a mildly bored expression.

"Ah, it's you. Here for business?" She asked, continuing her cleaning.

"More or less. I just need to talk to some of the students here for some information." Erina replied calmly. Fumio raised a thin brow and shrugged.

"Go ahead, then. Just don't stir trouble; I just finished most of the cleaning 'round here, and I don't want to have to make another round with this old broom!"

"Yes ma'am." The blonde figured her best bet would be to talk to Isshiki, but with her luck she ended up bumping heads with Souma.

"Yo, Nakiri! Never expected seeing you in these parts. Did the council finally loosen your leash?" he joked, raising a hand in greeting.

Whatever Alice had told her earlier had burned to ashes right in front of her eyes. Not that she was considering him anyways, but she wanted to rub it in her face that she was right from the start.

As usual, she looked down on him with a cold gaze. "I'm here on my own accord, for your information. Speaking about information, I might as well ask you since you're here anyways." She pulled out her picture, making sure to obscure the side containing her younger self. "This man was here not too long ago, correct?"

Souma took a good look, recognition flashing in his golden eyes. "Oh, Pops? Yeah, he was here. What about it?"

"I'll be frank. I need to know when he plans on coming back to visit next time." Erina said, putting away the photo.

"I wouldn't know..." Souma shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "He sort of just comes and goes, y'know? I swear, I never know what that guy's thinking." For a moment, the redhead could've sworn he saw some disappointment in the girl's eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "Anyways, how do you even know about him?" He asked.

If something seemed off about her before, it was really apparent now, with the way she suddenly went quiet and turned a bit red at the cheeks. Putting two and two together, he figured out what her impromptu visit was all about. He offered her an amused smile, one that only made her blush intensify from sheer embarrassment.

"I knew he's pretty big around here, but you too Erina? I guess the God's Tongue has more to her than just extreme taste buds after all!"

"S-shut up!" Erina protested. "You know as well as I do how excellent of a chef he is. Unlike you, I can appreciate his work as a masterpiece. Even if I only had one chance to taste his food, it was enough to leave me with a good memory. I don't see you doing that with your dishes!"

"Great. So now I have even more of a reason to beat the old man." He groaned. Once again, the smile on his face appeared. "If that's the case, I'll have to work even harder to wow you. I'm still aiming to get a 'Delicious!' out of you."

Her irritation already festering, she couldn't comprehend how in the world this guy could remain so persistent. ' _Like a fly._ ' She added in her mind. A fly that wouldn't stop buzzing in her ears and driving her mad.

She flipped her hair haughtily and gave him a sideways glance. "Keep spouting these false hopes all you want. In the end, you'll only ever be the second best." With a growing dread, Erina immediately regret those final two words. Souma's eyes gleamed once more with excitement. It was odd how she found it nearly contagious...

"'Second best?' So I have a chance! I'll be sure to take first place in that stubborn heart of yours then!"

Yep. Regret was the right word for what Erina felt at that moment. Regret, and an odd feeling of embarrassment coupled with a light fluttering in her stomach. She could've sworn she read those lines in one of the shoujo volumes she had recently taken up on reading, and it wasn't helping that it just so happened to be one of her favorite phrases. For a split second, her mind replaced the smooth protagonist in the story with a charming-looking Souma.

' _No! Absolutely not! What am I thinking?!_ '

"Enough of this! The point is, send word the next time he's here." Her blush had lessened, but she wasn't able to fully suppress it. "It would be nice to meet him one more time."

"Sure. Just don't get all red like that when you see him!" He laughed and stepped out of the way when she lunged at him. "Kidding, kidding. But seriously, Nakiri, I'm not giving up on what I said, whether you like it or not." She was taken aback by the change in his demeanor, suddenly looking more mature and thoughtful than he did five seconds ago.

Maybe- _just maybe_ \- she had room for one more person to be at the top of her list. But if she was to go by anything her cousin had told her, she'd have to wait for this "nice guy" side of him to reveal itself to her.

END

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 **A/N: I'm surprised I managed to go over the 1k goal. Who would've thought? I'm surprised by the amount of follows and favorites. Thank you all very much!  
**

 **Concerning some questions I received:**

 **1)** **Will you ever make a full story?**

 **Eventually, I'd like to. For now though, I'd like to stick with these oneshots as sort of warm-up for my writing. I think I would probably need some time to think of a plot I could commit to.**

 **2) I wanted to laugh a bit, because it seems like some of you are sticklers for the "Completed" sign! I'd much rather leave it at "In Progress" because technically I haven't even gotten close to finishing this. I'll probably mark it as completed once I feel like I'm just about ready to wrap things up with these oneshots. So maybe once I reach a certain amount of chapters? We'll see eventually.**

 **Also, thank you, a.k.a Kusabi for catching those small errors previously. Keep in mind, I have a bad habit of uploading late at night so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes here and there!**

 **I really encourage you all to leave some reviews! I'd like to know what can be improved/changed and what you'd like to see in future oneshots. See you all again in the next one!**


	3. His Shining Steed

It was only practical for Souma to obtain a license for his very own moped once he finally realized just how impossible it was to get around all of Tootsuki on foot. With the sum of money he had saved up from his father's small "once in a while" bank deposits, as well as from other spare time odd jobs, he was able to invest on a simple little vehicle. It wasn't a high-end, luxury boasting machine like most pampered students had, but it did the job of getting him from point A to point B.

During one of his routine drives to class, he had almost missed out on the wonderful opportunity of watching a certain Elite Ten member have a meltdown. He pulled up behind the familiar black car and shut off his engine. He smirked, seeing as how Erina had yet to take notice of him. Up ahead, he noticed the uneasy driver who was taking the brunt of Erina's morning wrath. Though he wasn't fully paying attention to Erina's rantings and the driver's incessant "I'm sorry, milady," he could tell that nothing was moving along. At this rate, she would never get to school on time. Off to the other side of the car, he spotted Hisako fretting over the phone, most likely trying to get some help.

Souma walked up to her and tapped her shoulder to get her attention, but instead of doing that he accidentally made her jump with a small shriek. _'Things must be worse than I thought.'_ He mused. He stepped back to give her some breathing room, careful not to get her even more riled up than she already was.

"Oh, it's you...For a second I thought you were Erina-sama..." She said between shaky breaths. She briefly put the person on the other line on hold before addressing Souma. "Why aren't you headed to school?"

"I'm going to redirect that question back at you. Things here are looking... lively. What's the deal?" The two turned back to Erina and the driver as Hisako explained.

"The car broke down and we had to pull over. Erina-sama wasn't in the best of moods this morning, so..." Hisako trailed off. Now, Erina was chasing the poor chauffeur in circles around the car. "I'm trying to get another car to pick us up, but it seems that it will take a while for someone to get out here."

"I knew Erina wasn't a morning person, but this?" He sweat dropped at the scene before him. It reminded him of those cat and mouse chases he'd seen in cartoons. "I think I'll try to settle her down."

"Good luck, then." Hisako told him, statement at odds with her obvious doubt. She resumed her call just in case things got worse.

Souma approached his girlfriend swiftly, but it was hard to tell if he could get her to sit still in one place. The driver looked over at the redhead pleadingly.

"-And another thing! You were hired for this job because you were expected not to mess up! How can a driver forget to carry a spare tire and a jack in the trunk?!"

"Okay, okay, that's enough from you. I think he learned his lesson." Souma said calmly, stepping in between the two.

"Souma? What are you doing here?" Erina asked, trying to subdue her frustration. The driver took this moment to run off, probably to hide away to where Hisako was.

"Helping," Souma replied. "I'm sure we can all get to school if we calm down for a second. Come to think of it, this is the angriest I've seen you. You never get this tense, not even while at the kitchens."

"That's because the cooks over there are able to carry out my instructions without problem." She glared off to the side. "Meanwhile, this driver can't even do his job properly!"

In an attempt to calm the blonde, Souma rushed up to her and enclosed his arms around her in a tight hug. It nearly knocked her off her feet, but it was enough to distract her from being mad. She still wasn't used to his romantic gestures, let alone in public, as seen by the shade of pink her face took on. Since her arms were locked to her sides, all she could do was hide her face in his chest.

"Let go!" She demanded, but his hold only got tighter.

"Not until I know you won't hurt your driver!" He persisted. Their stubborn streaks lasted until Erina finally gave up on struggling in his arms. Souma looked behind him to see a hopeful Hisako pointing at her phone. By the looks of it, someone would finally be on their way. "Okay, letting you go now."

"You didn't have to do that." Erina groused, crossing her arms once she was able to. Her boyfriend chuckled at her flustered state.

"I did, actually." He retorted with a smug look. "Otherwise poor Hisako here would have to hide that driver's corpse." Erina sent Hisako a questioning look, concerned by the uneasy aura that surrounded her secretary when her eyes landed on her.

"I'm sorry." She apologized sheepishly to her long-time friend.

"No need to be, Erina-sama." The pink haired secretary assured. "In any case, the replacement car should be here momentarily."

"I guess that's my cue to leave." Souma interrupted, placing a chaste kiss on Erina's cheek. "I don't want anyone scolding me for being late, after all. I'll see you later?"

Erina held her cheek which felt much warmer than before no thanks to his parting signal. Her eyes looked between Hisako and Souma as she seemed to think something over in her mind. "Actually," She started, "Do you mind if we go together? To school, that is."

The redhead raised his brows in surprise, but smiled anyways. "Sure! I've got an extra helmet if you want to hop on the bike with me." He pointed to his moped. Erina nodded, excitement evident in her eyes. While he started the engine, Erina walked over to Hisako and exchanged some words with her. After seeing her blonde friend off with the usual "Be careful, Erina-sama," Hisako walked towards the car.

Once Souma knew that Erina was safely seated behind him, he pressed on the accelerate and began driving down the road. Though they weren't going relatively fast, Erina had a tight hold on his midsection.

"Beats riding in that boring old car, huh?" Souma asked over the noise of motor.

"It does, but sometimes I'm worried that you'll drive us straight into an accident." Erina quipped.

"As if I'll ever let that happen. The only accident happening on this thing will be the serious case of helmet hair you'll be getting once we get to school!" He laughed heartily. Erina let him have his fun as she rested her head on his back. She would much prefer riding to and from school with Souma if it meant having him this close to her. Likewise, Souma relished in the peaceful atmosphere of these rides before starting another eventful of day of cooking.

"I'm sorry for being so snappy earlier."

"Don't worry about it. I'll just need to remember not to wake you up so early! I figured you were one of those early morning risers."

"What makes you say that?" Souma pondered this for a moment before giving his answer.

"Well, anytime I see you in the halls, you always look so focused and ready. Oh! And you always look nice, like you spent a lot of time getting ready." The last compliment pulled a smile from Erina.

"Thanks, but that's just for show. I try to hide how tired I usually am. My mornings are usually really tiring, and it's a wonder how I manage to pull through until the end of the day." She sighed.

"Sounds tough. If that's the case, do you want to go somewhere out of school grounds later?" he proposed. "I'll drive, of course." The thought of a nice relaxing drive by the beach side tempted her, but she didn't let it show.

"Hmm... Granted I'm not busy, I'd love to." she accepted. "For now, let's just get to class in one piece."

"Your wish is my command!" He said, speeding up his bike.

END

* * *

 **A/N: I apologize for the wait! I wanted to get my finals over with before continuing with another oneshot. In any case, I hope this chapter was enjoyable. Feel free to leave questions and constructive criticism. I think the next oneshot will be a sick day story. Still thinking on it, though!**

 **By the way, aren't Erina's recent encounters with Souma in the manga just the best? I love how flustered/embarrassed she looks every time! I can't get enough of her.**

 **See you all again in the next one! (Hopefully with less waiting in between!)  
**


	4. Nurse Erina to the Rescue

Most of Erina's mornings were pretty slow and very relaxing, given that she had the day off or had nothing pressing on her schedule. These times also gave her a chance to fully enjoy sleeping in with her usually boisterous husband. More often than not, she was the first to wake in bed. After rubbing the remainders of a hazy dream from her eyes, she liked to take a long look at her favorite redhead's sleeping form. His oddly comforting snoring was all too familiar for her at this point. Since there weren't any appointments, meetings or other urgent matters at hand, she would allow herself to lay back and observe the rare sight of a very calm, very peaceful Yukihira Souma.

This, however, was unlike most of those mornings. Haggard, unstable breaths replaced the easy rhythm the blonde chef was used to waking up to. When she took a good look at Souma, she noticed that his face was tinged pink- and not in the "Just received a sincere 'I love you'" way; this was more of a feverish, sickly looking glow. His skin also took on a much paler tone.

She sat up and gently tried shaking him awake. "Souma, it's morning already." Her voice was quiet, but full of worry nonetheless. When nothing happened, she shook him again. Some relief washed over her when he grumbled unintelligibly in his sleep. One more bout of shaking finally did the trick, rousing him from his slumber. His bleary golden eyes opened, squinting at the morning light that poured in through the curtains.

"I feel like I got hit by a truck." He whined, trying to pull the covers over his head. "A truck being driven by the damn sun. Why is it so bright in here?"

"The curtains aren't even pulled open all the way." Erina said as she lifted a hand to stroke his hair. "I'm willing to bet that you have a fever right now. It would explain why the bed feels really warm." Her eyes trailed to the digital clock on the nightstand. It was only seven-thirty, usually they would get up around nine. It was no wonder Souma sounded so grumpy upon waking up.

Although he was trying to ignore the massive headache coming on, he was grateful for the soothing touch. He leaned into her welcoming hand, reminding her of a tame lap dog. However this was Souma she was talking about, and if anything, he was something closer to a big mutt.

Softly planting a kiss on his temple, she shuffled out of bed and put on a robe before grabbing her cellphone and exiting the room. Souma sighed heavily, loathing the thought of having to report to work later. Maybe it _was_ a bad idea staying up all night with the guys for another crazy party. All these years later, and he still couldn't keep away from hanging out with the Tootsuki gang.

 _'I knew I shouldn't have tried so much of Ryouko's new sake mix.'_ He lamented before sinking back into a fitful sleep.

Erina got off her last call and immediately headed to the kitchen. Planning ahead, she called in to excuse Souma and herself from work. Afterwards, Hisako had lent her the recipe for a porridge that had medicinal properties, provided she used the right herbs in the correct amounts. Because of her status in the culinary world, their kitchen was never lacking in ingredients or food. Although she hadn't tried the dish before, Erina knew she could get it right on the first try. After all, her graduation from Tootsuki wasn't just for show.

While the pot of ingredients simmered, she grabbed some pills from one of the cabinets and set it nearby for later. She couldn't doubt Hisako's skills with medicinal spices, but as she fiddled with the golden band on her finger, her worries only made her act more carefully. Seeing her upbeat husband act so helpless and downtrodden brought out her mother hen side, though her pride would admit otherwise.

Once everything was done, she placed a bowl of porridge next to the pills and a glass of water on a breakfast tray and walked back into the bedroom. Upon pushing the door open, she could see that Souma had all but thrown the comforters away, leaving his body exposed. Besides that, his breathing seemed more labored. Erina sighed worriedly and placed the tray on the nightstand before straightening out the sheets as much as she could. He mumbled incoherent words every so often, making her wonder what kind of fever dream he was having now.

* * *

 _Somewhere in the fuzzy remnants of Souma's dream, he could picture himself drudging through a scorching hot desert. His clothes felt heavy and suffocating on his sticky, sweaty skin. He looked around the endless sandy dunes, shielding his eyes from the sun. It was useless, though. He was stranded, and he didn't even know which way would lead him to refuge. He really needed to drink some water, otherwise he'd end up baking face first into the sand._

 _It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, but eventually he caught sight of a ramshackle town that surrounded an oasis. He nearly cried at the wonderful sight, running towards the wooden structures. Next thing he knew, he found himself leaping into the cool waters, splashing his face over and over. He was practically a kid splashing around in water, but that didn't matter; he was safe and away from the sun's harsh rays._

 _He laid back and let himself float in the body of water. It felt like heaven, and he didn't want to leave. Suddenly, a cool hand began feeling his face. He opened his eyes to a very pleasant sight: Erina dressed down in a light, flowing skirt and a top that failed to cover her midriff. A veil covered her head, but he was sure it was her. She smiled coyly, but said nothing and continued to gently stroke his face with cool hands. To say he was in complete bliss was a total understatement for what he was feeling at that moment.  
_

 _He kept eye contact with her as she leaned in until their breaths mingled, soft lips barely meeting his own. He was willing to see if they were as cool as her hands. Then she whispered, "Souma, wake up~"_

* * *

His eyes shot open to see Erina's eyes peer into his own. His view was obstructed by the cool towel she was pressing onto his forehead.

She paused and looked at him curiously, "Are you feeling okay? You sure were moving around a lot."

He waved her off and rubbed at his eyes. "Just a dream. Don't worry." Looking at her again, his mind formed images of what she would look like dressed up like she was in his dream. It was enticing, and certainly something he would remember, but he couldn't let his imagination run off. He mentally shook his head. She would probably smack him over the head for thinking such things, but given his situation, he couldn't help but imagine her in a nurse's outfit as well...

As Erina helped his heavy body recline against the headboard, he mumbled, "Smells good..." She then placed the tray over his lap, making sure nothing would spill on the bed. She waited for him to grab the spoon and start eating, but he wouldn't budge. In fact, he looked like he was falling back asleep.

"Geez. Do I have to feed you?" She moaned.

"Well, I'm the sick patient here." He replied with a smirk, eyes still shut. It was soon replaced by a grimace as his head pulsed due to his headache. He gave Erina the look of a hurt puppy until she gave in to his wishes.

"Fine, fine. I expect you to eat all of this _and_ the medicine." She said, raising the spoonful to his mouth.

After swallowing, he tentatively asked, "Is it bitter?" Another spoonful was put into his mouth.

"Yes, Souma. It's not children's medicine. You're a capable adult, so you have to take the adult medicine." She scoffed as he protested during chews. This banter kept up until the dish was empty. It took some "gentle persuasion" from Erina for Souma to actually gulp down the pills, but soon after that he was feeling just a bit better. Before she could leave the bed, the redhead took her hand a placed a kiss on her palm.

He grinned boyishly, "Thank you for being my nurse today." She returned this with a small smile of her own and continued with cleaning up the tray.

"You're very welcome, you helpless man-child." She answered condescendingly, laughing at the face he made. "To think; the great Yukihira Souma can handle many consecutive Shokugekis without a sweat, but a fever is enough to bring him down from his pedestal."

"If anyone's on a pedestal, it's you." He accused tiredly, but she was already out the door. Souma loved his wife, but besides having her God's Tongue, she could easily pick him apart with some venomous words. Luckily, she usually didn't resort to the latter to get him to comply to her orders.

He heard her footsteps against the wooden floors and sure enough, when he opened his eyes again, she was leaning against the doorway.

"I was thinking of helping you with a bath as well, but seeing as you're too tired..."

"That's fine! I'm awake!" He insisted, stumbling out of bed and making his way to the bathroom. Erina rolled her eyes at his antics as she began changing the bed sheets and preparing a fresh set of clothes for him.

If anyone knew how to take care of Souma the best, it was definitely Erina.

END

* * *

 **A/N: Surprised by the quick update? So am I.**

 **Addressing some reviews I got for the previous chapter:**

 **1) This one was partly set up as an apology to guest ErinaXSouma, who seemed disappointed that these two aren't married in all of these oneshots. Sorry, but their relationship will depend on what prompts I choose to write!**

 **2) I guess I should remind you all that these oneshots aren't necessarily following a plot, or even some sort of chronological order. I even wrote out "** **mostly unrelated Souma/Erina oneshots" in the summary! When I'm ready with some plot ideas I'm satisfied with, I'll let you all know. For now, I hope you can all bear with jumping in between different settings.  
**

 **This one came as a spur of the moment story, so I don't have anything at hand for the next oneshot. If any of you would like to suggest some ideas, I will gladly consider them! Feel free to leave questions and constructive criticism. See you all again in the next one!**


	5. The Babysitters

Souma couldn't grasp what was going on. As soon as he picked up his phone, he was being yelled at before he could even utter a "Hello." All he caught was "Tootsuki" and "at noon" before the abrupt call ended.

Sighing heavily, he pocketed his phone and looked around the empty diner. Today was a closing day for the usually-crowded restaurant, but he liked to come in anyways to improve the menu's recipes. Seeing as he didn't have anything else to do, he locked up and made his way over to his old school...

...Only to regret even stepping foot outside the restaurant door.

Of course was aware about his class rivals Alice Nakiri and Ryou Kurokiba pairing up together (and not as cooking partners, as the girls had to break down for him.) However, he must have overlooked the part where they had a kid. _Together_. At 25 years old, he couldn't even imagine himself settling down with anyone just yet. He was still young and he still had so much to learn and experience! He didn't have time to play house!

And yet, here he was standing in front of the power couple. Even more surprising was Erina, who usually had too much on her plate to afford going out of her way for something like this. He wondered if she was like him, who had nothing much to do for the day.

"Yo." He greeted everyone. Then he turned to Erina, "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you were the one who called."

"Right." She said with a clipped tone. "Consider this a favor that I'll pay you back for later."

"A favor from my dearest girlfriend, huh?" He teased with a smug grin. "I probably shouldn't ask for anything in return, but in this case... I'll take you up on the offer."

The blond crossed her arms defiantly, "Just don't go acting brash like you usually do, got it?"

"I won't! So, why did you call me of all people?"

Erina could only blush, but it didn't stop her glare from sharpening. "It was more convenient since I knew you weren't working today. Besides, Alice wouldn't stop pestering me about it." She added, though it sounded more like a sudden afterthought. Before Souma could tease her further, a cough interrupted them.

"If you two could settle your lover's quarrel some other time; we have places to be soon." Alice remarked, looking unimpressed. Ryou silently waited next to her, holding a bundle against his shoulder in one arm and carrying a bulky-looking bag in the other. Like Alice, he was waiting for them to wrap it up. "Anyways, we'll be back in three days at the latest. We packed enough for until then. Anything else is in the notes I left in the baby's bag."

Then, she faced Souma with a dangerous glint in her eyes. "And if I hear about you so much as getting near my child with one of your bizarre recipes, I'll get Erina to smack you up the head. Better yet, I'll come down here myself to deal with you."

"I wouldn't even think of it." The redhead muttered nervously. The silver-haired girl nodded as if to say _"You better not."_ She went up to Ryou and had him pass over their baby to her. Then she went to Erina and deposited him in her arms. Although clumsy at first, Alice guided her through the proper holding method. Erina seemed to be a bit uncomfortable with such a fragile load in her arms, but Souma thought she seemed as natural as could be.

"I'll leave our Yuu in your care, then. You know how to get in touch with me." Erina nodded and bid her farewells. Souma was watching the two, only for his attention to be directed at Ryou when he neared. Wordlessly, the man handed over the bag to Souma.

"Take care of him." Was all he said before taking his partner's side once more. It was a simple sentence, but Souma fully understood the hidden threat behind it.

"It feels like there's a whole closet in here!" he said to himself, lifting the bag a couple times.

"We'll be off then. See you in a few days!" Souma and Erina watched the two get into a car and disappear down the road, leaving them standing with nothing much else to say.

"So... your place or mine?" Souma asked.

* * *

"Wait, Erina, which container do I need to use?"

"The one that's clearly labeled as lunch," Erina sighed as she dangled a finger in front of her nephew, who was laying on a play mat. "Hurry up, will you? He's going to get restless if he isn't fed soon."

Souma clicked his tongue once he found the elusive baby formula tin in the baby bag. "Who even puts their kids on strict schedules?"

"Responsible parents, of course." Erina responded from his living room. Although small and fairly modest, Souma's apartment would be their so called base of operations while they babysat, much to his reluctance. Lucky for him, Erina was going to stay over with him.

Souma walked into the room with a heated bottle and set it in front of the baby.

"Well, eat up Yuu." Nothing happened, of course, except for the uninterested stare being sent his way by the infant. It seemed he had inherited most of his personality from his dad. Erina donned the same bored look.

"How old do you think he is?" She asked expectantly.

He looked back and forth between them. In retrospect, maybe having a stray cat of a dad had some repercussions on his paternal instincts- if he had any.

"Just- Just hand me the bottle." The blonde ordered, feeling defeated. Soon she was quietly feeding the content baby. Afterwards, he was out like a light in her arms. The room fell quiet as Souma observed her once more, noting the almost indistinguishable hint of tender care in her gaze. Had it not been for the soft, black tuft on top of Yuu's small head, he could've sworn Erina was the mother. And it was with a sense of amusement that he realized he would most likely be the dad in this silly, made-up family.

As calm and placid of a baby Yuu proved to be, his parents sure had him engaged in activities around the clock. At one, he was to be fed, followed by a nap for about an hour until he woke up needing his diaper changed (Souma and Erina ultimately decided on taking turns for this). Afterwards, he could toddle around in the playpen he came with. Then at around three, he was to watch one of those educational programs aimed at young kids. Again, this was to go on until he fell asleep. Before the evening made everything dark out, he was to be taken for a stroll for some fresh air. Once they returned, he would likely fall back asleep and wake up hungry. This was to go on for the rest of his stay.

Souma plopped down onto the couch when they returned from their first of three outings. "Y'know, for all the time he spends sleeping, he sure is a lot of trouble." He told Erina when she returned from putting him to sleep.

"I wouldn't say trouble... but I can agree on that." She let out a yawn and settled in the spot next to the redhead. He leaned in on her, nudging at her shoulder so she would look at him.

"I never would've though you would do so well with kids. Alice's stories of your childhood really made you sound like a brat- Ow!" He received a flick on the head for that, but she didn't bother to move him.

"We grew up together, so of course we got on each others nerves." She explained. "Besides, this isn't the first time she asked me to take care of Yuu. Of course, it was usually only for an hour or two when I had the time."

Souma hummed at hearing that. "It's no wonder you look like an actual mom."

"Tch. As if I could afford being a parent right now." She countered, turning away from him. He raised a brow in question. "Besides, I don't think you're father-material just yet." Souma's curious expression turned into that of flattery. He burrowed his face into the nape of her neck, tickling her with his hair.

"Guess not. Suppose we still gotta tie the knot first." He said, voice muffled. The thought made Erina smile, unintentionally making her thoughts steer towards scenes of flowers, decorated tables and dancing. Though they were more like memories of an event that had yet to happen, it didn't stop the butterflies in her stomach.

"Eventually." She conceded, taking his free hand. "For now let's just hope Yuu doesn't wake us up later at some ungodly hour."

Souma cringed at the thought, "Knowing you though, you're gonna force me out of bed to take care of him."

"Hmm. You're not wrong." She said with a smirk.

* * *

Even though it wasn't for long, Souma warmed up to the little boy. Erina picked up on the subtle changes in his demeanor: the way he would glance at Yuu from the table during meals, how he was usually the first to tend to him if hew was upset, even during those times they sat together in front of the TV to watch Yuu's favorite show. So when there was a knock at the door, Erina had to gently pry her nephew from Souma's hold.

"Time to say your goodbyes." She warned as her hand made contact with the door knob. She let in Alice, though Ryou was nowhere to be found. The silver haired Nakiri greeted her cousin as Yuu was passed onto her. Souma walked up to her with the baby bag in tow. He leaned down to eye-level with his new favorite kid and looked at him with a wistful expression.

"Guess it's time for you to go, buddy. It was nice knowing you." Yuu could only look back at him with blank eyes.

Alice snickered and turned to Erina, "I don't suppose you want to keep him for a while longer?"

"If we did, there would probably be a slim chance of seeing your son ever again," contemplated the blonde. "But if you ever need someone to watch over him for a few hours, make sure to get in touch with Souma first. I'm sure he'd jump at the chance."

"I'll keep that in mind, then." Alice nodded thoughtfully. "Well, it's time to go. Yuu, say goodbye to your Aunt Erina." She took his small pudgy hand and waved it at her.

"What about his Uncle Souma, huh? We had loads of fun together!" The redhead interjected.

"Uncle? Not until you propose to Erina, you aren't." Alice objected, sticking her tongue out at him. Souma rubbed his neck and stubbornly looked away.

"Whatever. I'll take this down to your car." He grumbled, leaving the apartment.

Alice took the opportunity to gingerly lean in closer to Erina. "Well? Think he's finally going to crack?"

Erina pulled at the hem of her top, face warm. "We've been hinting at it lately..."

"It's about time! It took long enough for you two to finally confess, and I don't want to wait double the time to hear about your engagement!" The other woman asserted happily.

"Alice, please! We'll get to that once we know we're both ready."

"Just call me when he does so we can all celebrate!"

"Celebrate what?" In came Souma, wondering what the two girls were in the middle of. Alice took this has her cue to leave.

"Oh, nothing. I'll see you two another time. And Souma, stop being a coward and go for it!"

He tilted his head, "Go for what?" But the door already shut behind her. He turned to Erina for answers, but seeing as she was glancing around at anything but him, he decided it was best not to ask.

Girls could still be so confusing to him sometimes.

END

* * *

 **A/N: Never write while binge watching movies, you guys. It slows down the whole process and you'll never get much done!**

 **A big thank you to everyone who reviewed, and especially to those who shared their ideas! This one goes out to user soul puker(rad name, by the way), who suggested this. This is part one of a two-shot that will tie in with another prompt someone suggested, so be on the lookout for that soon!  
**

 **As usual, feel free to leave reviews and the like! I'm so glad I've received positive feedback for these oneshots so far, but I'd really love to hear more from those who followed or favorited! See you all again in the next one!**


	6. A Dish Suited For Refined Tastes

Legends were told about the gut-wrenching, foul smelling concoctions that came to be in Tootsuki Academy's kitchens, but no culinary disaster came close to Souma Yukihira's infamous squid based creations. A single bite wasn't even bearable, just a tiny taste was enough to send people into a fit of writhing spasms of tentacle-induced terrors. It always brought up the million dollar question: Why did he bother coming up with all these repulsive recipes if nobody was courageous enough to try them out? For a long time he had no straight answer for it, other than the fact that it was a silly competition with his dad. He knew how bad these dishes were, heck, he was always the first to try them out unless there was an unsuspecting bystander nearby.

New developments within his romantic life, however, would eventually earn him one sole fan.

* * *

"Souma."

No response.

"Souma!" A little bit louder.

"Hrng..."

"Souma-"

"What? What is it?"

"I'm hungry."

"Can'tcha make something by yourself? I'm so tired..." In the dark of the room, illuminated only slightly by the moonlight seeping in from the curtains, there were the sounds of shuffling against the blankets and plush mattress.

"But Souma-kun..." There it was! The begging, puppy-eyed plea usually had him wedged under Erina's thumb, but tonight he would not be subdued. His upper half was being rocked back and forth, but he did not give in. Instead, he played dead and hoped she would give up and go back to sleep.

"Sou-ma-kuuun~" He felt something soft nudge his back when she whispered so temptingly into his ear. For a regular occurrence, she was especially persistent this time around. Usually it would take some promises to be fulfilled in the morning to appease her, but it seemed that wasn't an option for him now. What could he come up with to distract- Oh, dear.

"Sou-" Lips on the spot behind his ear. "ma-" Lips on his jaw. "kun." Lips on his neck. Now she was just being merciless!

He flipped on the spot and caught her in a surprise hug, minding the bulging bump. Erina smirked victoriously and returned the gesture.

"Now then, before I fall asleep again, what do the queen and royal brat want at this early hour?" He wisecracked.

"Something sweet, servant." She pecked him on the nose and promptly pushed him out of bed. When he looked back at her, she had turned on the lamp on the nightstand and seated herself comfortably against the pillows.

He heaved a long sigh, "Just don't fall asleep on me. I'll come back with something."

"We'll be waiting." She said, patting her stomach for emphasis. Her groggy husband just rolled his eyes at her and pulled on a worn T-shirt, yawning and scratching his head as he left.

The tiled kitchen floor brought chills to his feet, but his sleep deprived mind couldn't care less. The plan was to get in, make something quick, and get back into bed. Opening the fridge and stumbling smack into some leftover squid, it was hard to resist playing a little prank on his pregnant wife. Sure, it might get him killed, but he was losing sleep anyways. Then again, it was hard for her to move around quickly these days, so really, the worst she could do was exile him to the couch for the next month or so (Or at least until she caved in from being lonely and forced him to come back). That in mind, he also grabbed other ingredients to make Erina's actual snack. He grabbed his ingredients, pulled out his old grill and headed outside for some quick cooking action.

He really hoped she couldn't smell the squid from the room, praying that the bedroom window was shut.

When he walked back into the bedroom, Erina was in the middle of reading a book. She raised her head when he came in and looked at him hungrily behind a pair of reading glasses. She took them off and neatly put them aside with the book.

"Well? Let's have it."

The redhead presented her with an innocent-looking container, though it was closed off so as to hide its contents. "This one's a surprise, so I'm gonna have to ask you to close your eyes."

As if that wasn't suspicious enough already. "And why's that? You didn't make anything weird again, did you?" She asked skeptically.

"Nope! Just taste it and find out." He extended the container out to her, but made a show of taking it back and away from her. He was really going all out to stretch out the anticipation in the room, just so that he could swoop in with one swift blow. _Aren't I just evil?_ , he cackled internally. He mentally cheered when she sloped her shoulders and dropped the hard look.

"Really, all this for one snack? I might as well just not have bothered with you at all, Souma." She griped, covering her eyes with her hands.

"At least I got up this time." He grabbed a bit of the mystery food with chopsticks and moved it to her mouth. "Say 'Aah!'" She didn't say it, opting to just open her mouth. He delicately placed the food in her mouth and waited. And waited... and waited. And when he finally got a reaction, it totally wasn't the big spectacle he was hoping for.

"Mmm! Sho good!" She probably would have melted into a puddle if this wasn't real life, but here she was, loving every single moment of this twisted, would-be trick. "Something about this sweetness; it's too addicting! And there's something else, but I can't figure out the taste. What is it? Can I open my eyes now?"

"Grilled squid... dipped in strawberry jelly..." He deadpanned. Seconds ticked by tortuously slow as he watched her hands drop to her sides and the once pleased smile morph into a tight, grim line. Her head slumped over, causing her fringe to shield her eyes.

He had the gall to ask, "How- How was the, uh, squid?" She said something under her breath, but he didn't quite catch it. "Can you speak up?"

"I said," She took a ragged breath. "I want to try some more."

He was absolutely flabbergasted, but the expression on his face took on a more hurtful meaning for Erina's hormone-addled pride. She snatched the container and chopsticks from his hands and began to devour the nauseating contents. The corners of her eyes prickled with tears, and her cheeks were pink with shame. She looked so close to breaking apart that it was pitiful. In fact, it made Souma feel _really_ uneasy, and that was saying a lot considering how thick skinned he was.

"Hey, you don't have to eat all of it," He assured shakily, but she didn't listen. "It was just a mean joke, see...? You can stop now, Erina." The pitch of his tone kept quavering , and by the end he sounded as if he himself was going to cry. But as sorry he sounded, Erina did not care to listen. "...Honey?"

"Stupid! It's because of your stupid experiments and your stupid hobby that I'm like this! It's all your fault!" If she wasn't crying before, she sure was damn close to it now. " _I_ can't even believe I'm eating this, Souma! If you actually cared about me, you wouldn't have done this in the first place! Now I've lost my appetite!" She whimpered. Her final words were at odds with the empty container that she all but slammed onto the nightstand.

"I said I was sor-"

"Well, I don't want to hear it!" The hysterical blonde launched a pillow at Souma, which he easily caught in his hand. Carefully, he tugged it away from her hand and placed it a safe distance from her grasp. He let himself take in all the guilt while her hiccups and snivels slowly receded. He really wanted to kick himself for forgetting about her mood swings, and really, how could he when he was usually the victim of her emotionally fueled scenes?

When she finally seemed to settle down, he placed her actual midnight snack on her lap: a few s'mores wrapped in saran wrap, still warm.

Souma's voice remained oddly quiet, "These were supposed to be what you were actually supposed to eat. I'm sorry." Erina took it and held the treats in front of her like it could break at any second. When Souma saw her eyes well up with tears again, he was ready to both jump in and console her, or protect his face with the pillow he took from her. Instead, she wiped her eyes and locked him in a constricting embrace that just about squeezed the life out of him. When she let go, she gently placed both hands on the sides of his face and gave him a very long, very sweet kiss. Her lips smushed against his and he hummed in surprise, only for him to make a face less than a second later. The bad combination of sweet and fishy came back to bite him, and it was not pretty. He remained strong for Erina's emotional sake.

"I'm sorry for calling you stupid." She breathed once their faces separated. "But I'm not taking back what I said about your food."

He shook his head, "It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I admit I was being mean. Didn't expect you to finish the whole thing though!"

"It's because of the baby!" She pouted, looking away. "These cravings are making me act irrationally and these mood swings just-" He interrupted her excuses midway with another small kiss.

"I get it, I get it! I promise not to do that again if you promise to stop blaming everything on the baby already!"

"Fine..." She replied halfheartedly. "But... Just don't laugh if I happen to put in a request for that again."

He chuckled and pressed another kiss on her cheek, "That's fine by me. Better?"

She nodded sheepishly. "Better."

"Good." Souma smiled. "I think we had enough fun for one night, so let's get you and Junior here back to sleep."

"Junior?" She scoffed. "It's going to be a girl. Just you wait."

"Boy." He firmly stated as he walked out with the plastic container and the s'mores. Too much sugar at this hour wouldn't do her or the baby any good, so he'd stash them somewhere safe until she was allowed to have them again. He was surprised how they've managed so far without overstepping things with Erina's outrageous food cravings.

When he returned from the kitchen, Erina was snuggled under the covers and sound asleep. Souma shook his head and joined her. _'Just wait until pops hears about the squid.'_ He thought before turning off the lamp and falling asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: This one was really fun to write! Thanks to Isashi Sanada for the suggestion that coincidentally tied in well with the last chapter! (Or at least I thought so anyways.)  
**

 ** soul puker: I totally agree with that, but no doubt there's a lot of teasing involved (probably revenge for Erina being such a bully when they were kids, I'd like to imagine lol). Also, rad means cool, and I tend to use that word a lot so excuse me for that lol!**

 ** a.k.a. Kusabi: So the name Yuu came after five minutes of thinking 'Gee, let me try to give their kid a name with meaning and emotion and junk!' But then I thought it would be funny if his name rhymed with Ryou's, so I tried searching through lists, but none of them seemed right. And then I found Yuu, which could mean "superior," so I stuck with it considering Alice's and Ryou's backgrounds. That's about it, though. Also, while that idea does sound pretty funny, I'm sure you could pull it off on your own! You sound like you already have everything planned out lol.**

 **On a side note, I've been thinking about ending this oneshot series once I reach about 10-15 chapters in length. My hope is that by then I'll have an outline for a story with ACTUAL PLOT(wow!) For now it's not certain if I will end it at that range, but I think that's a reasonable stopping point. We'll see, I guess. What I do know is that it's been really fun writing these so far!**

 **As per usual, reviews and constructive feedback are always welcome! See you all again in the next one!**


	7. Her Nine-to-Five Pains

Erina stretched back on her chair, sighing in relief when she heard joints popping and knuckles cracking. The clock on her desktop screen let her know that she had been filling out reports for nearly two hours without stopping since coming into the office. Her lunch break wouldn't be for another couple of hours, and she needed to get her workload cleared before then.

Her head perked up, turning around to survey the floor. It seemed that everyone was just as neck deep in work, so she didn't make any eye contact with any of her co-workers. The idle chatter that usually filled the floor was missing, instead replaced by keyboard keys clacking, mouse buttons clicking, and phones ringing. She sighed wearily and resumed her work, keeping her eyes glued on the screen. It was a wonder that the screen hadn't deteriorated her eyesight after the countless hours spent in front of her computer.

 _If I wasn't stuck at some hotshot corporation, I bet I'd be off working somewhere way more interesting than some bland old office._

She always told herself this when the stress of her work was really getting to her. It was a chore to find some spark of interest in typing away a report that was essentially a copy of the last few she had filled out. Of course she was meticulous and took this job seriously, but it was hard to do when her nine-to-fives were just boring old repeats of each other. In a cubicle setting like this one, it was easy to fall into a routine of humdrum mediocrity. Nothing to do, but work. work, work. That's why she always looked forward to her lunch break; that, and she got to enjoy the meals she made for herself.

Time passed in another slow blur of business jargon and replying to clients. Erina was furiously typing away, wanting to finish up already. Before her fingers could fall apart from how quickly she was typing, her wristwatch suddenly began beeping. With a relieved smile she tore herself away from the keyboard and pushed on a small button on her watch to quiet the noise. She pushed herself away from her desk and grabbed her lunch, heading to the snack room to heat up her food.

Usually she'd find herself in the company of her cousin Alice, as well as Hisako from the floor below. Today, however, instead of seeing them at their usual table, she caught someone with an eye catching shock of red hair rummaging through the entire room. Whoever this guy was, he really seemed desperate for a bite to eat. She stood there quietly and watched him open every cupboard and shelf in the room, coming up empty every time. Eventually she had enough and interrupted him with a small cough. The redhead whipped his head around, golden eyes meeting her questioning pink ones.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Didn't realize someone was in here!"

"No need...? Do you need help with something or-"

"No, no! I'm fine, really. I'm just looking for something to eat in here." He resumed his search while Erina sat down at one of the tables.

"There are vending machines, you know." She pointed her thumb at the right side of the room.

"Yeah, that would be nice, except I left my wallet at home."

 _Is there no satisfying this guy?_ , she thought irritably. Having no other option, she walked up to the counter that he was currently ransacking and stashed her food in the microwave. As she waited, her patience kept wearing thin with the stranger in the room. He just wouldn't give up! He must have gone through everything at least twice by the time the microwave sounded off. It was also at that time that Alice and Hisako walked in with their food in hand. Their chat came to a stop when they saw Erina getting her food as if there wasn't some weirdo tearing the room apart right next to her.

"Uh, hello?" Alice greeted, getting the guy's attention. He nodded at her in acknowledgement, not once slowing down with his task.

"So, who's the pillager of the break room?" Asked the silver haired woman as they all sat down at one of the tables.

"Don't know." Erina replied, taking a forkful of salad. She swallowed and said, "He was just here when I walked in. Apparently he forgot his lunch _and_ his money."

Hisako stared at Erina, curious. "So you just let him be while you heated your food?" When she received an uninterested nod, she was both surprised by her show of apathy and sorry for the guy at the other end of the room.

"Tsk, tsk. Dear cousin, that is not how you get men to like you." Ignoring the blonde's look of disbelief, she waved over at the redhead. "Hey! If you really can't find anything, we can share with you!"

The effect was instantaneous. First he turned to see if she was talking to him, and then he just about sprinted over to their table. He stopped himself before crashing and sent them all an apologetic smile.

"Heh, thanks. Sorry for the trouble."

"Don't worry about it. Just have a seat!" Alice prompted. She and Hisako gave up portions of their meal to him, but Erina had yet to make a move. An elbow jab from under the table and a persistent gaze from Alice later, Erina was grumbling something under her breath about 'scatterbrained guys' and 'damned freeloaders' while reluctantly sharing some of her food. With a plate full of a mix of everything, the redhead sent them another sheepish grin before thanking them once more.

He hummed in satisfaction, "This is really tasty! I'm glad I forgot my food today!"

"Don't get used to it." Erina muttered through a mouthful. Alice sighed hopelessly at her cousin's behavior and quietly ate.

Hisako broke the silence, "Excuse me for asking, but I've never seen you around the office floors before. What's your position here?"

"Oh, me? I'm one of the building guards. I also help out the tech guys whenever they need a hand."

"Ooh, a guard with tech skills. Impressive!" Alice noted excitedly. "You wouldn't believe all the problems these floors have, especially since half of the people here are stuffy old geezers without any know-how on how to run a computer."

"I agree. I'm actually relieved that we have someone around our age to help out." Hisako added. "It's so hard to get anything done on time when I have someone tapping my shoulder for help every five minutes!"

"That's why they hired me, I guess. Usually, I'm running around the top floors, though. Someone was missing today, so I had to fill in for these floors today." He shrugged, setting his fork down. His plate was practically licked clean, but he seemed pleased enough. "Well girls, thanks again for the food. I'll have to drop by and pay you back some time."

"Already? Well, no problem- Oh! We didn't catch your name." Alice pointed out.

"Souma Yukihira, building guard and part-time food thief." He introduced himself. He waved his hand around in their direction, "Your turn. I need to know who I owe later."

"I'm Hisako Arato. I work with the accounting department of the company." The pink haired woman smiled politely.

"Alice Nakiri. They make me jump between the design and marketing departments. Apparently I have an eye for these things." Now they waited for Alice to introduce herself, but seeing as she had remained quiet and rather irked this whole time, Alice took it upon herself to do it for her. "This grouch right here is my cousin Erina. She's stuck with being the paperweight of the business legal aspect of the company."

"Shut it. Your job isn't so glamorous either." The blonde hissed. She stood up and began packing her things. "In any case, I have to get back. I won't be expecting another repeat of today." That last part was directed at Souma, who raised a brow at her frankness. His eyes trailed her figure as she left the break room.

"Don't worry about her, Souma. She has a really bad attitude problem, but it's not as bad once you really get to know her." Alice assured. Hisako could only send her a critical stare.

 _The family bond sure goes a long way with these two,_ she thought. "Ah, take her words lightly, if you will. Alice likes to provoke Erina even though they work at opposite ends of the same floor." Hisako said.

"If you say so. See you two around." The redhead sent them a parting wave and left them to finish their lunch. Once Alice was sure he was out of earshot, she smirked to herself.

"These two could work _very_ well, don't you think so Hisako?"

"Erina with Souma?" The pinkette's eyes widened incredulously. "She'd probably get to you first before that could even happen."

Alice's ruby eyes took on an amused look. "A little office romance never hurt anyone. We need excitement in this boring old building anyways."

Hisako rolled her eyes at the excited woman, "I'm not helping you act like Cupid's advocate. I'm heading back to work."

* * *

Erina was making her way down the underground parking lot late into the evening, her short heels clacking and echoing against the concrete walls. She was one of the few remaining people who stayed over at the office floors for overtime, but as the dull throbbing in her head increased, she began to regret making that decision.

She mumbled to herself, "I think a warm bath should help..."

"Mind if I join? Just kidding!" She jumped, startled at the deep voice behind her. She didn't even notice the heavier footsteps coming behind her! She was going to raise her bag to send this would-be stalker a good wallop, but thought better of it when she met the same golden eyes from earlier. (Then again it wouldn't hurt to get some payback after the stunt he pulled earlier.)

"I certainly wouldn't want to share a bath with you! Who exactly do you think you are?"

"I told you already, I'm one of the building security guards! Or at least I was before I punched in for the day." Souma told her. He followed behind as she made her way to her car without so much as looking at him. He whistled long and low in the quiet lot. "Your cousin was right on the money with that attitude."

Although it wasn't meant for her to hear, she stopped in her tracks and glowered up at him. "Don't bother listening to Alice, alright? And I don't have an attitude. I just want to get home and get rid of this annoying headache!"

"Headache? I can help you with that." Souma reached into the backpack he carried and pulled out a small sealed bottle, handing it over to her. He also pulled out a half-full water bottle. She silently accepted them, but inside she was beginning to question if he really was another troublesome guy at the office. "Hmm... Alice told me your car was at spot... 42, was it?"

"She told you what?!"

He dug into his pocket and showed her a bright pink sticky note with a note scrawled down in Alice's distinct, clean handwriting. "She just passed by the surveillance room and dropped it off."

"And being a guard, you weren't suspicious about it?" The blonde interrogated. "I'm beginning to think they hired the wrong guy for your position."

"I'm not a serial killer in disguise if that's what you're worried about."

"I've seen enough crime TV shows to prove otherwise."

"We may have only known each other for less than an hour, but trust me. Besides, I was serious about returning the favor. Just name your price and I'll do my best to pay you back."

They had finally reached her car, although Erina caught herself deep in thought. She glanced at Souma, who was waiting for her with such an intense gaze. It almost made her flustered, actually, knowing that he was willing to do whatever she wished.

"Hmm...I suppose you can make up for the food you took." It came out like a whisper, but Souma heard her loud and clear.

"Great! I'll take you someplace where they serve great food. It's not far from here, actually."

She crossed her arms, "Right now? Isn't it a bit late?"

"Well, if you really want to get ready and look nice, we can always reschedule for- lets say- Friday? It could be a nice after-work date." He teased, leaning in on her. She backed up into the trunk of her car, trying to keep her distance.

Erina raised her voice, "I refuse!"

"Hm?" He straightened himself up again, "I can't just not pay you back. If that's the case, I'll just bring some of my lunch to you tomorrow."

"What? You can't-" But he was already backing away from her and walking off.

"I won't accept take-backs! I'm a man of my word, Erina."

When he was gone behind all the other cars in the parking lot, she unlocked the drivers seat and locked herself in. She started up the ignition, but did not drive off. Instead, she rested her forehead on the wheel.

"That guy..." She uttered. "Why does Alice always get ahead of herself?" She looked at the pills and the bottle she had thrown onto the passenger seat and flushed a bit as she recalled the way he had said her name with such determination. She knew he would stick around as long as she kept up her stubborn streak, making her wonder if it would have been easier to just accept the date.

She could cure her headache in less than ten minutes, but she wouldn't know how to deal with another hiccup in her already unpleasant job. Just thinking about his future lunch time visits made her scramble for the pill bottle.

* * *

 **A/N: How's that for a rushed office AU? And a longer(around 2k words) one at that!** **Sorry to those who may have been waiting for another chapter to go up! Having a writer's block is never fun, but it gets bad when your methods of getting over it end up being a distraction.**

 ** ErinaXSouma: I'll think about it!**

 **I think at this point, it's safe to say that I will end this at the tenth chapter. I'll be honest with you all, I still don't have an actual story in mind to work on after this, but I'm thinking about dabbling in other series/fandoms. Nothing set in stone, though.**

 **Thanks for the reviews as always! See you all(hopefully in less than a week) in the next one!**


	8. First Date Jitters

Erina was nervous. Undeniably, overwhelmingly nervous. Was she starting to sweat or was the room already warm? Maybe it was the warm air that still hung around from her hair dryer... She kept fiddling with her fringe, trying to make it neater than it already was, but no matter how much she rearranged the short locks, she just wasn't satisfied. Should they be swept to one side, or parted down the middle? Or maybe she should forgo the fringe all together?

The longer she fidgeted in front of the mirror, the more restless she became. Her unease was enough to affect even Alice, who was idly paging through a magazine on Erina's bed. The more experienced of the two cousins originally left the other to her own devices on her request, but she was beginning to see that it was a mistake. Her frustration boiled hotter by the second, and she mentally chastised the blonde for not accepting her help in the first place. That was the whole point of her coming over; she would have been finished a long time ago if she hadn't let her pride get in the way! But no- Erina just had to get mad and reject her kind advice.

In any case, she still had about an hour left until she had to leave. It would be more than plenty of time for some helpful intervention. Calming herself down, Alice set the magazine aside and stretched herself out of bed. She had quite enough of seeing Erina struggle (as funny as it would have been in any other occasion). She approached from behind with a hairbrush, knowing she would be seen on the mirror's reflection.

Alice took Erina's arms and forced her to put them at her sides. "You really are hopeless, you know that?" She told her, gently brushing the blonde's long locks.

"I didn't ask for-"

"Yes, yes, I know! But at this rate, you'll never show up to your date on time. Besides, just looking at you mess around is making _me_ anxious, and I'm not even the one going out!"

Erina looked straight ahead at the mirror. She had to admit that she was acting out of the ordinary, but she really couldn't help it. The guy waiting for her wasn't exactly the first person that would come to mind on her list of "Suitable Bachelors." The list itself wasn't even enough to fill a sheet of paper (in fact, it was practically blank), seeing as she worked alongside people double-even triple- her age. It just didn't sit well that she had next to zero experience with men, and yet here she was getting ready to spend a night out with one.

She flinched as the brush accidentally caught onto a knot, bringing her back to the present.

"You need to relax, Erina! Souma won't like it if you go in there tense like a set of violin strings."

"You don't need to pull on my hair to tell me that." Erina sighed and fell silent. Alice noticed this and lightly bumped her head with the head of the brush.

"Hey now, no need to start having second thoughts. It's too late to back out now. You look fine, and that's all that matters!"

 _She's right,_ Erina thought as Alice resumed with the brushing. It was just one evening, after all.

* * *

She had only been waiting for a few minutes when she spotted Souma waving at her just down the street. He broke into a jog, stopping just a few feet away to admire her outfit: A white, collared chiffon blouse with cuffs, tucked into a slim wine-colored skirt that reached up to her knees, topped off with a pair of low heels. It was a refreshing change from the stiff-looking blazer and pants combination she tended to wear during work. He on the other hand, opted for a simple navy blue and white raglan tee, jeans and canvas shoes.

Erina clutched her bag tighter when she saw him staring. Honestly, she didn't mind this as much. It made her feel nice that he wasn't just dumbly ogling at her, and it made the extra nerve-wracking time she spent getting ready all worth the effort. She was just glad that he had planned for them to spend time together in a relaxed, casual setting.

Souma pulled his eyes away from her form. "I hope I didn't leave you standing here for long! I had to double-check if I had everything on me before locking up my car."

This brought a smirk on Erina's face, helping to dissolve some of her nervousness. "Let me guess... Wallet?"

"Among other things, sure." He easily admitted. He beckoned her to follow him as he began walking with her in the opposite direction he came from. "But I'll let you know right now that the other time was an honest mistake. I'm actually a pretty dependable guy."

"I'd hope so since your job is to keep and entire building safe." She said, shuffling closer as they approached a busier section of shops and restaurants. Souma noticed her gradually lagging behind the further they walked, so he offered his arm to guide her along easier. She wrapped her arm around his, but her mind was more distracted with the infectious energy of the streets they were walking through. The amount of people in the streets grew denser the closer they got to the main street. The night life crowd was just arriving, it seemed.

"Where exactly are we going? I haven't been around this area much."

"I thought we could start off with a good movie," He shrugged. "Unless you had something else in mind?" Shaking her head, she let herself be escorted through the lively street. She would find herself feeling a bit off when he let go of her arm to pay for their tickets.

It wasn't too hard for Erina to sit through two hours of relative darkness next to Souma. The thriller-mystery they chose to watch kept her distracted enough from his calm presence. In fact he seemed too calm, as if she was just spending time with any other friend. As the crime began to develop further on the big screen, she discreetly took a look at him from the corner of her eyes. Messy red hair, striking golden eyes and a grin that could put anyone at ease, but in her case it only made her more flustered. She watched the different colors and lights from the screen pour onto his face for a while longer before embarrassingly resuming the movie. She didn't notice the momentary glance he sent her way.

Although they couldn't talk for obvious reasons, the redhead found himself enjoying Erina's company. She seemed to have let herself relax, unlike how she acted out during their first meeting. He summed it up to her being away from the stressful work environment. He had the luxury of walking around and not have to be stationed inside an office staring at a computer all day, but he could relate somewhat to her aggravation and weariness. This was a different side of Erina he was with, and he decided he was perfectly content with spending a whole evening with her if it meant they could unwind and have some fun.

He jumped in his seat when the speakers exploded with a sudden, piercing crescendo, followed by an ear-splitting shriek. It seemed that the killer had taken yet another victim. Souma took this chance to tear his eyes away from Erina, as if he totally hadn't been staring for long.

"That sure got me..." he whispered to himself. He could feel his heart pounding, caused only by the movie, thankfully. He turned to Erina to see how she was faring, but her pale expression told him all he needed to know. He nudged her to get her attention and silently mouthed if she was alright.

She composed herself to convince him that she wasn't fazed one bit, but Souma wasn't buying it; not with the way she was sinking back into her seat and her fingers clenching at the armrest. It was too hard to resist letting out a muffled chuckle or two, but he tried his best by covering it up with a cough. She frowned at the sight of his shaking shoulders and chucked some of her leftover popcorn at him. This only made Souma laugh even harder, earning some bothered glares from some of the other watchers.

When the movie was over, Souma was busy flicking away bits of the buttery snack off his shirt as Erina waited for him with a badly hidden smile.

A ticket stub and a weird mix of content and disappointment was all that remained of their date later that night. Although they only went to watch a movie, Erina felt like it came and went too quickly. At her doorstep, Souma had promised to take her somewhere much more interesting the next time she was free.

 _Next time_ , she thought. She lay sprawled on her back and started to feel all her pent-up nervousness ebb away into the comfort of her bed. She had a feeling it would come back to her anyways whenever this next time was going to happen. For the time being, she could let her thoughts wander and think about what the next date would hopefully lead to.

* * *

 **A/N: So much for "less than week," huh? I couldn't sit still while writing this, so I could only make so little progress each day I tried working on it. Worst experience ever! I had originally started a totally different one-shot, but after having such a hard time I figured I would just continue last chapter's office!AU.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed, favorited and all that! I just notice a couple days ago that this series reached over 15,000 hits and 100 followers! It definitely makes writing through my block worth the suffering (hahaa).**

 **I'll be seeing you all in the next one!**


	9. The Unruly Neighbors AU (Final Oneshot)

Hisako was the type of person who could pull up her sleeves and get things done in a cinch when the situation called for it. It was part of her job as a personal assistant after all, and whatever task was handed to her, she completed with the utmost of care and swiftness. Needless to say, some of that hard-working attitude translated well into the immaculate state of her shared apartment. Dirty dishes were next to non-existent in the kitchen, the small living room was always free of clutter, and everything managed to stay dust-free. Everything was absolutely perfect in her modest little abode.

Or that's what she tried convincing herself, at least.

The pink-haired woman found happiness in simple pleasures- her clean apartment, for one. If she had to choose one though, it would be the blissful feeling she'd get moments before she slipped into some well-deserved sleep. What more could she ask for? She was a responsible adult! She payed her bills and made sure to take care of her good roommate even after a grueling day of office nonsense! So why...

* * *

 _'Who in their right mind holds a wrestling match at 3 in the morning?!'_

"Hisako..." And then came the pained groan from the other side of the door.

 _Knock-knock-knock. Whump-bump-thump._

"Hisako...!"

* * *

...couldn't she have been blessed with courteous neighbors?

She inhaled through her teeth and let out all the air in one slow, tired exhale. She shoved her covers aside and left the cushy bed that was calling her back to its warm comfrot so desperately. Sending it a remorseful once-over, she fumbled for the switch on her lamp and finally went to answer her door. Usually she and Erina would ignore the routinely ruckus and block it off with pillows over their heads, even earmuffs(but that was only because Erina was overreacting one time). Some part of her had to give them props; despite the trouble caused by the people upstairs, they have managed to start at the same time on the same day every week without fail. Even so, Hisako had to get ready for work in the morning, and she wouldn't let anybody mess around with her sleep schedule.

"We have to do something!" Erina declared once they settled at the dining table for an emergency meeting.

Hisako blinked slowly, "I agree with you, but..."

"Yes?"

She sighed, "Erina, I don't think we can do much. Not now, anyways. As much as I'd like to file a noise complaint, I'd rather go back to bed." Her plea was met with a startlingly loud palm to the table, giving her sleepy mind a quick jump-start.

"But now is the perfect time! While they keep making noise, we can call someone over and finally get them kicked out!"

"I'm not going to bother the landlady at this hour." Hisako sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Erina seemed to deflate a bit after that, but the determination in her eyes came back to life not even a second later. Hisako briefly began to wonder if the sleep deprivation was getting to Erina, because it sure was taking a toll on her own patience.

"Fine. Then we will just have to take this problem into our hands."

"Well then, how do you propose we do that?" She asked, her voice dipping dangerously close to snappy.

"Simple. We just have to confront the neighbors and request them to stop. I'm sure the other neighbors upstairs will be grateful."

Hisako's shoulders sunk lower. Even if they could pull this off, their neighbors probably wouldn't care either way- not at this hour. If they haven't done anything around the time all this racket started, what made Erina think they would take action now? Honestly, she would much rather slip back under her blanket and forget she even bothered to wake up.

Sighing, she told the blonde, "I'm afraid to tell you this, but you'll have to do this one on your own. I think I've already cursed myself just from being up right now."

"But Hisako-!" Erina lunged at her, but as she had miscalculated how easy it was to knock down a drowsy person, the two ended up sprawled painfully on the floor. When she could feel her senses coming back to her, Erina lifted her head and looked down at the pinkette with pleading eyes. "You have to come with me! What if these people happen to be dangerous?"

"I don't think those type of people would be allowed to live here in the first place. Can you get off of me now?" Came her muffled grumbling.

"Not until you come with me!" Hisako sighed as best as she could with a weight pressing down on her entire body. _Where in the world did she muster the energy to be so restless?_ , she thought. There was only one way to settle this matter quickly, but it was too risky and she could end up losing any hope for sleep in one fell swoop. In the same way, it would be a waste not to do it. Drastic times called for drastic measures, after all.

And that was how Erina was pushed out of the apartment after having lost a best of three match of rock-paper-scissors (in her pajamas too, as if her loss didn't sting enough already).

"I won't be letting you in until you fix your problem. Sorry!" The lock clicked shut and, once again, Erina was reminded that this was her fault and her fault alone. She hmph'd and turned on her heels towards the staircase. If she wanted things done, it was only fitting that she be the one to do them. The thumps and the muffled music got louder the moment she set foot on the floor above, and it would only get worse the more she inched towards the source.

When she thought she was at the right door, she took a moment to toughen herself up. Many deep breaths and several false starts later, she finally found the courage to knock at the door. Or bash on several times, as she came to realize that her weak taps wouldn't get anyone's attention.

The door finally opened and Erina was enraged. Not only did she have to come up here on her own, but she had to bruise her poor hand too! The cocky grin on the finally-revealed source of commotion just made her downright livid. She was sure she heard a blood vessel burst the moment her sights set on it.

"You! I have a right mind to-"

"And you are...? Never seen you around here before!" Yelled the redhead over the noise.

"I happen to live on the first floor, and my roommate and I can't get any sleep because of you- Hey!"

"Hold on just a sec!" He slammed the door in her face in an instant, and opened it up in the next. Before Erina could try to bite his head off, he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her into the fray. "I'm sorry we can't have a proper housewarming party, but my name's Souma! Welcome to my Friday night get-together!"

"Get-together? _Really_?"

"Let me introduce you starting with her," He pointed to a girl with braids and gradually progressed around the room. "That's Megumi, Yuki, Ryoko, Shun, Zenji, Daigo and Shoji. We've all known each other since high school. Everyone this is-"

"Erina. I live on the floor below." She crossed her arms and sent Souma a pointed look. "Now then, I have to-"

"Here, just take a seat on the couch. We were just getting started with another poker match. So far we've managed to play through 5 games straight without stopping!" Boasted the redhead.

"But I'm not-"

"Here you go!" A red plastic cup was suddenly pushed into her hands. "That right there is courtesy of Ryoko. We also got snacks if you're feeling hungry."

Erina's well thought-out script soon became nothing but useless and empty words. She was supposed to be having a serious one-on-one discussion with this party maniac, but instead she was being brought into it like some guest of honor. She didn't even know how to play poker for crying out loud! When she heard the words "strip" and "poker" and "money" being brought up in the room, she knew she had to leave, or it would be her end. However, she could not get one word in, not even to get Souma's attention.

"D-do we really have to?! I'd rather not take off any of my clothes!" Megumi protested as she hesitated taking the cards being deal to her.

"Looks like it won't matter anyways..." Erina uttered to herself at the sight of Daigo and Shoji already shirtless without the game having even started. She was willing to bet that those two, along with her redhead neighbor, were the ones guilty for her lack of sleep. As they set up the deck and the table, Erina managed to slip out of the apartment unnoticed and made a run for her own. However, upon arriving she found that the door was still locked. No doubt Hisako was expecting her to keep her side of the bargain. She rapped the door and tried calling out for Hisako, but she got no replies, much less the click of the lock becoming undone.

"Locked out?"

The blonde begrudgingly turned her head towards Souma, who was leaning on the wall with a cup in his hand.

"What's it to you? You're the reason why I'm stuck out here, after all."

"Really?" He took a sip. "Then why were you knocking at my door so late? I don't suppose you were looking to borrow some milk at this hour."

"About that. You have the nerve of being so loud and annoying so late into the night that my roommate and I can't even get back to sleep. I'm seriously wondering why I haven't called the police already and filed a complaint!"

"Not like they would take you seriously in that get-up anyways." Souma snickered. Erina choked on her words, her face getting warm from total embarrassment. So what if she was in the middle of the hall wearing flannel sleep pants and a worn shirt that said "I donut understand food puns"? It wasn't like she had much of a choice at the moment.

She clicked her tongue in disdain and scowled. "Why don't you just head back to your stupid poker game? I'll get in faster that way."

"You've been knocking on that door for five minutes. I don't think your friend is even awake." He said before downing the rest of his drink. "Why not come up to mine and have some fun? You can crash there until the morning if you're so hellbent on getting some sleep. It sure would beat being stuck in here." She thought for a moment. On one hand she could sleep in the cold hallway floor, but on the other, she could sleep on the floor or on one of his couches with a blanket. Her choice was pretty clear, but that didn't make it any easier to accept.

From that night on, Hisako made sure to take extra cautionary measures every Friday night before turning in. Erina didn't even notice that her pair of emergency earmuffs mysteriously went missing.

* * *

 **A/N: Finally met the "under 7 days" deadline! Unfortunately, this is going to have to be the last oneshot I post for this series. The story I want to write is still in the planning stages so it won't be out for a while yet. I really want to focus on working out the plot and all that, so please be on the lookout for the first chapter in the near future.**

 **Anyways, thank you all for the support you've all given me throughout these oneshots. All the messages, reviews, favorites and follows made this experience well worth the time and effort. I started this as a stress-reliever from school, but I'm glad I was able to turn it into something bigger. For a first little project, it was a pretty fun warm-up! So without further adieu, see you all in the next one!**


	10. ANNOUNCEMENT

**Sorry to use this as an announcement, but it's really important! I'll keep it short and just tell all of you to take a peek at my profile update and also maybe vote on my new poll. It's all for the greater good of future stories I'll eventually write. Thank you!** **(And sorry in advance if I got some hopes up'')**


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